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The Faltese Malcom by Peter E. Abresch
Mystery
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The Faltese Malcom was recorded using a number of actors in stereo, with left and right voices, where you'll find adventure, love, laughter, a hard-boiled mystery, and walk on the fantasy side with time travel.
No one believed Joshua Punch.
Certainly not Karen Sawyer in present day Washington D. C.
"You're not going to believe this." He gazed into her blue eyes. "While I was visiting Buckys's house–"
"Unknown to Buckeys.‟
"Unknown to Buckeys–"
‟While he's away on vacation.‟
"While he's away–you gonna listen to this?‟
"I'm believing it so far.‟
"Somebody in there schlunked me on the head. I woke up dangling out on the ledge of the thirteenth floor of a hotel. In San Francisco. I got schlunked on the head again and I ended up back in Buckeys's house. I'm mentally being swapped back and forth with some guy in San Francisco."
"What's not to believe?" Karen palmed up both hands. "So you're swapping bodies with another man." She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "See, the difficult part was swapping bodies with someone from San Francisco."
He stared into her big blues and one eyebrow rose.
"There's something else, isn't there? Something about San Francisco?"
"It's in the nineteen twenties."
But believe him or not, when he landed in San Francisco he found himself in the body in of a private eye named S. Paid, who everyone called Spaid. And Spaid was smack in the middle of a war between a mob boss and a beautiful Chinese tong queen who had designs on his body. Which was okay with Josh, except when she threatened to cut off the good parts of his body. Who would feel the pain, Spaid or good old Joshua Punch? Also, Spaid's partner was killed and a couple of cops wanted to put him in a cell and throw away the key–clichés, everyone there spoke in clichés. Oh yes, and a woman wanted him to find something called the Faltese Malcom. Except...
"The Faltese Malcom?" The fat man's big belly shook as he tried to contain his mirth. "I hardly think so, Mr. Spaid. Another one of Miss O'Shaughnessy's little fictions I fear. What we are really looking for is... the Maltese Falcon."
Meanwhile, in twenty-first century Washington, the falcon everyone wanted--the FBI, an oil company, and a couple of mobsters–was a guided missile stolen from a navy base. And everyone thought Joshua Punch had it. And if he didn't produce it, everyone was threatening to cut off the good parts of his body. And Josh had no doubt who would feel that pain.
But the O'Shaughnessy dame had it right all along.
In the end only one thing really made a difference.
The Faltese Malcom.
This work is licensed under a
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Chapters
| Title | Description | Date Created |
| FalteseMalcom 01 (32.53 MB) | Chapters 1 - 3 - Joshua Punch breaks into Buckys' Washington house, gets bopped on the head, and time-transports to San Francisco in 1927, gets bopped again and awakens back at Buckeys where he meets Karen Sawyer, then is confronted by two men who bop again. | Apr 19, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 02 (25.15 MB) | Chapters 4 - 6 - Josh awakes in a San Fran police car, in 1927. He is occupying someone else's body, that of private eye, S. Paid, Spaid, with Mile Bowman as partner and Effie as secretary. He glimpses his new face in a mirror and passes out. | Apr 19, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 03 (28.79 MB) | Chapters 7 - 9 - Josh awakes back in Washington, and at Buckys's house Karen Sawyer administer first aid. Then finding out a bad guy is on the way, they skedaddle down to an eatery where Josh sketches Karen's face to prove to her he is an artist. | Apr 19, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 04 (29.23 MB) | Chapters 10 - 12 - Josh and Karen return to Buckys's, but when they arrive, the building blows up. They go to Karen's place and crash. When Josh wakes, he's back in Spaid's office in San Fran where his partner's wife puts the moves on him. | Apr 19, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 05 (29.08 MB) | Chapters 13 - 16 - Josh, as Spaid, finds out Bowman has been murdered, then he is kidnaped by bad guy Mahony, who wants money, and then by Mahony's enemy, a Chinese Ton Queen who makes love to him, and finally police detectives grill him at the crime scene. | Apr 19, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 06 (30.64 MB) | Chapters 16 - 18 - Spaid IDs body for cops, Polshed and Edinborough, then goes to Spaid's apartment and bed. Awakes back at Karen's, gets in trouble with Binky and Frog at Kar Park, then goes back to Karens to find police are after him and Karen. | Apr 19, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 07 (34.34 MB) | Chapters 19 - 21 - Josh and Karen escape the apartment with the police looking for them, then they run into two sleazy detectives who are looking for falcon missile, afterward the FBI confronts them looking for the same thing. | Apr 20, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 08 (36.79 MB) | Chapters 22 - 24 - Karen takes Josh to her boss's apartment, they discover Buckeys is really arms dealer Greenstreet. Josh falls asleep and wakes back in San Fran where he is accused of killing Fribay, the man with the Maltese Falcon. | Apr 20, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 09 (32.16 MB) | Chapters 25 - 28 - Finds out Miss Marvel is really Sally O'Shaughnessy and wants the Faltese Malcom, but when he gets back to Spaid's apartment, the fat man tells him it is actually the Maltese Falcon, and gives him the Falcon's history. | Apr 20, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 10 (37 MB) | Chapters 29 - 32 - Josh goes to bed and wakes up at BWI, Greensteet dead and Binky and Frog after he and Karen. Before they leave, Josh cleans out Greenstreet's temporay locker, and return loft apartment I go through Greenstreet's stuff. | Apr 20, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 11 (37.96 MB) | Chapters 33 - 35 - Karen reminisces about Christmas, Josh gives her a present, they make love, order pizza in, go through Greenstreets stuff to find Greenstreet's double crossing everyone, stealing the Falcon and selling it twice. | Apr 20, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 12 (31.29 MB) | Chapters 36 - 39 - They plan a trap for Fargin, plan goes awry and Josh ends up back in Fan Fran in middle of gang war. Bad guys kill one another, Josh ends up with money, and he meets with guy who has Maltese Falcon and a knife in his back. | Apr 20, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 13 (35.21 MB) | Chapters 40 - 42 As Effie deposits Mahony's money, and big shoot e'' up takes play, Josh is knocked out and awakes on board his boat where FBI shows up and want Josh to meet with Fargin, Josh and Karen retrun to laft apartment. | May 5, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 14 (31.62 MB) | Chapters 43 - 46 Josh determines money could be made with modern knowledge back in '27 stock market. He waks up again in Sain Francis, and Mahony tries to kill Josh and Effie, Tong Queen rescues them, but then the Fat Man kidnaps O'Shaughnessy. | May 5, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 15 (42.51 MB) | Chapters 47 - 50 When Josh goes to the Fat Man with the Maltese Falcon, they find it if lead and anther shoot em' up. Josh returned to modern times and Josh goes back to his boat and a man gives him heritage left him by Effie, the Faltese Malcom | May 5, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 16 (29.52 MB) | Chapters 51 - 53 Josh collects $500K for the Faltese Malcom, meets Karen to swap money for newspaper and is kidnaped. Kidnappers find newspaper instead of money and hold Josh on his boat. Karen agrees to come with money. | Jun 10, 2011 |
| FalteseMalcom 17 (34.2 MB) | Chapters 54 - 57 Conclusion, Josh and Karen are thrown into the river and must find someway to get saved and get back on board Josh's boat. | Jun 10, 2011 |