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How to Succeed in Evil: The Novel by Patrick McLean
Fiction
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Alternately funny and dark, a HtSiE is the story of Edwin Windsor, Evil Efficiency Consultant. A biting satire of both modern business and the conventions of the superhero genre.
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Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-No Derivatives 3.0 United States License.
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Chapters
| Title | Description | Date Created |
| Prologue: Song (7.98 MB) | In which a brave pilot fights to save his plane and all on-board. | Mar 16, 2009 |
| Chapter 1: A Lot of Words He Doesn't Know (8.02 MB) | Excelsior races to the rescue? | Mar 16, 2009 |
| Chapter 2: Vorld Domination (4.74 MB) | Edwin meets the Not-So-Sinister Dr. Loeb | Mar 16, 2009 |
| Chapter 3: Edwin Walking the Hallway (10.07 MB) | Edwin walks down memory lane. This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. How did I get here? | Mar 16, 2009 |
| Chapter 4: A Child of Faded Empire (4.82 MB) | Enter Agnes, Edwin's formidable secretary. | Mar 16, 2009 |
| Chapter 5: A Par Four Life (15.24 MB) | Edwin and Topper hit the links. | Mar 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 6: There's Money and then there's Money (7.82 MB) | Edwin plots, schemes and puts up with Topper. | Mar 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 7: Excelsior on the Beach (7.38 MB) | Gus gives the big guy a pep talk. | Mar 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 8: A Giant Laser In Space (16.1 MB) | The one scheme that can't possibly work. | Mar 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 9: What Do You Want Mr. Windsor? (11.17 MB) | Edwin meets the Not-So-Sinister Dr. Loeb's mother. Iphagenia. | Mar 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 10: Cassette Girl (7.35 MB) | More than Edwin ever wanted to know about Iphagenia Rielly. | Mar 27, 2009 |
| Chapter 11: Calling Home (4.54 MB) | Edwin checks in. | Mar 27, 2009 |
| Chapter 12: Cindi with an 'i' (9.43 MB) | Excelsior tries to take a night off. | Mar 27, 2009 |
| Chapter 13: Edwin Dresses for Dinner (5.86 MB) | Can civilization be contained in a mere garment? | Mar 27, 2009 |
| Chapter 14: The Empress Josephine? (6.94 MB) | When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. | Mar 27, 2009 |
| Chapter 15: Following the Protocol (7.34 MB) | Agnes does her job. Topper attempts to swing into action. | Mar 27, 2009 |
| Chapter 16: Just a Consultant (13.07 MB) | Edwin does what he does best. | Mar 27, 2009 |
| Chapter 17: Using the Asset (13.42 MB) | The world ain't what it used to be. | Apr 10, 2009 |
| Chapter 18: Edwin Makes His Pitch (9.63 MB) | Why fight for it when you can simply buy it? | Apr 10, 2009 |
| Chapter 19: Nothing Right for Agnes (5.92 MB) | Restraint and perseverance aren't paying off. | Apr 10, 2009 |
| Chapter 20: Search Your Feelings (8.32 MB) | Does Edwin regret spurning Iphagenia? | Apr 10, 2009 |
| Chapter 21: Strip Club/Truck Stop (5.69 MB) | Topper vs. the Locals. | Apr 10, 2009 |
| Chapter 22: The Demands of Dr. Loeb (5.22 MB) | Edwin twists Eustace. | Apr 17, 2009 |
| Chapter 23: How did this happen? (5.37 MB) | Things go horrifyingly wrong. | Apr 17, 2009 |
| Chapter 24: How it happened (5.13 MB) | How things went horrifyingly wrong. | Apr 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 25: Excelsior fights the hurricane (6.03 MB) | Superpowered man vs. Nature | Apr 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 26: Marauding through the night (11.94 MB) | Everything comes loose at the seams | Apr 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 27: The Rescue (8.13 MB) | Topper wants credit for the win | Apr 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 28: 23 Seconds (3.5 MB) | The duration of Dr. Loeb's success? | Apr 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 29: A new suit (7.81 MB) | Edwin recovers himself | Apr 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 30: Cotton Candy (12.82 MB) | Enter a poor little boy named Barry | Apr 29, 2009 |
| Chapter 31: Barry BASH (9.75 MB) | The one thing he's good at. | Apr 29, 2009 |
| Chapter 32: Enlisting the Little Savage (19 MB) | Topper's the man for the job! | Apr 29, 2009 |
| Chapter 33: Clarence gets scared (7 MB) | Clarence gets a visit from Topper | Apr 29, 2009 |
| Chapter 34: Reasoning with Barry (7.33 MB) | Not a good idea. | Apr 29, 2009 |
| Chapter 35: Wrecking a Building (15.3 MB) | Barry BASH architecture | Apr 29, 2009 |
| Chapter 36: A Blakjack Toting Angel (8.57 MB) | Agnes restores order | Apr 29, 2009 |
| Chapter 37: Topper Gives a Pep Talk (6.89 MB) | Trying to talk Edwin out of a funk. | Apr 30, 2009 |
| Chapter 38: Calling Forth Nemesis (8.96 MB) | Excelsior called in to deal with Barry | Apr 30, 2009 |
| Chapter 39: Topper Detects (7.67 MB) | Topper finds more than he bargained for. | May 13, 2009 |
| Chapter 40: How to Make Advantage From Avalanche (8.15 MB) | Edwin figures it out. | May 13, 2009 |
| Chapter 41: Down But Not Out (12.14 MB) | Excelsior is surprised by defeat. | May 13, 2009 |
| Chapter 42: The Cromoglodon is Born (8.24 MB) | An innocent seduced? | May 13, 2009 |
| Chapter 43: Getting the Best of a Bad Bounce (8.68 MB) | The Cromoglodon is a hit. | May 19, 2009 |
| Chapter 44: The Pitch (7.47 MB) | Edwin sells a scheme. | May 19, 2009 |
| Chapter 45: Excelsior Speaks (13.56 MB) | I just flew in from Cleveland... | May 19, 2009 |
| Chapter 46: The Man Who Pulls the Strings (6.54 MB) | Why Talk to the Puppet? | May 19, 2009 |
| Chapter 47: A Giant Illusion in Space. (13.13 MB) | Dr. Loeb gets his laser. | May 21, 2009 |
| Chapter 48: Somewhere Over Kansas (6.82 MB) | Victory is hollow after all. | May 21, 2009 |
| Chapter 49: Mr. the Magnificent (14.97 MB) | Stay with the numbers Lifto. | May 21, 2009 |
| Chapter 50: Agnes vs. Mistivio (9.38 MB) | Master of Darkness? | May 21, 2009 |
| Chapter 51: The Death of Culture (12.44 MB) | It was inevitable. | Jun 19, 2009 |
| Chapter 52: A Score to Settle (11.16 MB) | Topper searches for base motives. | Jun 19, 2009 |
| Chapter 53: Serving a Process (7.11 MB) | It's hard to catch up with a guy who can fly. | Jun 21, 2009 |
| Chapter 54: An Angle (5.61 MB) | Every good lawyer needs one. | Jul 7, 2009 |
| Chapter 55: A Tale of Two Back Rooms (10.71 MB) | Justice isn't made out in the open air. | Jul 7, 2009 |
| Chapter 56: A Reasonable Disagreement (13.9 MB) | Opening Arguments | Jul 7, 2009 |
| Chapter 57: Get Him To Pop (10.29 MB) | Overcome a strong body through a weak mind. | Jul 7, 2009 |
| Chapter 58: Gus in the Hospital (6.45 MB) | Director Smiles is put front and center. | Jul 7, 2009 |
| Chapter 59: Excelsior Throws the Gauntlet (5.41 MB) | Edwin picks it up? | Jul 7, 2009 |
| Chapter 60: Henchcaddy (5.29 MB) | A fateful day begins. | Jul 7, 2009 |
| Chapter 61: The Front Nine (12.96 MB) | Maybe golf just isn't his game. | Jul 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 62: The Turn (6.4 MB) | A reversal of fortune. | Jul 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 63: The Back Nine (8.2 MB) | Topper can't stand it. | Jul 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 64: The Last Hole (6.79 MB) | Playing by the rules. | Jul 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 65: Out of Business? (5.24 MB) | Chapter 65: Out of Business? | Jul 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 66: From a Higher Place (7.01 MB) | Aren't you afraid of me? | Jul 18, 2009 |
| Chapter 67: You Want Evil? (4.69 MB) | Edwin turns a corner. | Jul 26, 2009 |
| Chapter 68: Edwin Dresses for the Funeral (6.09 MB) | Elegant sadness. | Jul 26, 2009 |
| Chapter 69: Negatively Buoyant (5.84 MB) | Edwin takes action. | Jul 26, 2009 |
| Chapter 70: The Only Sane Thing to Do (3.14 MB) | It all becomes clear. | Jul 26, 2009 |
| Epilogue (30.32 MB) | Wrapping things up nicely. | Sep 4, 2009 |