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Devlin, Abnormal Investigations - Case File: THE HELL HERMIT by Greg Crites
Humor
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This is a spin off of the character, Devlin, from the Dunkin, the Vampire Slayer trilogy of novels. It's a rip off of X-Files, featuring a near indestructible alcoholic vampire, with few socially redeeming qualities. His friends, including a wolf and a chimp are all smarter than he is, but he does excel at drinking and mayhem.
Here, he takes the case of a strange entity called the Hell hermit, who has lost the Key of Death. This could be bad news for humanity, but Devlin doesn't care as long as it doesn't interfere with his drinking. When innocents get hurt, he battles a giant hegdeapple, and singlehandedly attempts to cure the lust problem in the middle east.
This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works- 3.0 United States License.
Audio Quality: 
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By: Gail
Greg - so you really made that pop filter. Haha! Too bad about the cigar. Another good reason to avoid pantyhose no matter how you wear them. So now you're busy swapping insults on Twitter. Must be a guy thing.By: Greg
Oh! I didn't see Rob's comment up there. I fergot to acknowledge ya. Oh man. Okay, picture this: we're on the set of a Budweiser commercial. I'm in my natural state of wobblyness, the director says "Take 571-Bud Commercial", and I look over at ya, my eyeballs swimming around in the sockets, my torso fightin' gravity in a doomed attempt to remain upright, and I finally deliver my only line; "I luv ya, man." HAR!By: Greg
Thank ya, Steve! If yer havin' a good time, it dang sure ain't because of my recording skills. I got an imac, a samson mic, a stand, and garageband. I used to have a homemade pop filter. It was a piece of used pantyhose stretched over an embroidery circle thingamabob, and affixed to the stand with a couple hose clamps. But I got too close to the nylon with a seegar and it burned up. Crimany!!! Pantyhose goes up in flames like flash paper. I used to like to wear pantyhose, they feel good on yer nether regions. But them sensations ain't worth the inherent fire danger. Dang it, all the stuff I like is dangerous! Anyway, I just try and elicit a smile, show the reader a good time, a laugh?it's all I aspire to when scribbling my nonsense!
Chapters
| Title | Description | Date Created |
| Episode 1 (20.44 MB) | Chapter 1: The Hell Hermit -- Devlin meets the Hell hermit for the first time. Chapter 2: Research makes Me Thirsty -- Devlin stops drinking long enough to ask 'who is this Hell Hermit?' | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 2 (26.18 MB) | Chapter 3: It's A Clue If I Say It Is -- Devlin visits the scene of the crime. Chapter 4: Devlin Soup For A Cursed Soul: Lesson One -- Take Yer Lumps -- Devlin meets his first representative of the Dungeoners Guild. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 3 (19.68 MB) | Chapter 5: Dungeons and Dingbats -- Dungeoner's guild myth as told by the Hell Hermit. Chapter 6: The Psychic Brain Drain -- Devlin meets his first victim of the Dungeoners Guild. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 4 (23.49 MB) | Chapter 7: Jeers, Where Everybody Knows Your Game -- Back to the bar. Chapter 8: Airport Insecurity, Passenger Indignity -- To the nudie bar. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 5 (21.93 MB) | Chapter 9: I Ain't the Sharpest Knife In the Silver Drawer... -- Another classic Devlin screw-up. Chapter 10: Rock of Confusion -- He gets shot with something bad. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 6 (24.27 MB) | Chapter 11: A Belch Cures Depression -- Devlin stops off at yet another bar and is attacked. Chapter 12: I Got It All Under Control -- Devlin hauls his Dominus Keep Captives to the bar and finds he has once again erred. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 7 (24.46 MB) | Chapter 13: The Sword and the Stonehead -- Devlin bonds with his bloodsword. Chapter 14: Walk Like A Drunken Egyptian -- Devlin learns more of the enemy he faces. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 8 (21.42 MB) | Chapter 15: Soul Lens Me Your Ear, So I Can Thump It --The soul lens arrives and Devlin is found wanting. Chapter 16: Start the Day with a Fang -- Devlin prepares to take Jennifer and try to help the girl victimized by the Dominus Keep. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 9 (21.68 MB) | Chapter 17: You Ain't the Boss of Me -- Devlin and Jennifer set off to help the girl. Chapter 18: I Usually Do This While Nekkid -- Devlin ruins another romantic moment. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 10 (30.25 MB) | Chapter 19: Maybe I'm Catchin' Something -- Devlin finds himself... almost... depressed! Chapter 20: Complications and Tribulations -- Dunkin disappears and while Devlin is away, something very bad happens. | May 2, 2008 |
| Episode 11 (21.15 MB) | Chapter 21 Hell Stops By For A Drink---Death makes an appearance, and retribution is guaranteed. Chapter 22 I Was Thinkin' A Killin' Iran --- Devlin is on the warpath now and on his way to Iran. | May 4, 2008 |
| Episode 12 (22.61 MB) | Chapter 23 Welcome To the Mosque Pit---The trip to Iran goes smooth, sort of! Chapter 24 Hello Mullah, Hello Fodder --- Dunkin introduces the Ayatollah to his world view. | May 4, 2008 |
| Episode 13 (22.95 MB) | Chapter 25 Dance of the Seven Hars!---Devlin finally makes his way to the Evin prison. Chapter 26 Sand For the Cavalry --- The first encounter with Siva Bishu. | May 4, 2008 |
| Episode 14 (22.24 MB) | Chapter 27 Key A Death, What Good Is It?--- The Key of Death does not seem to work! Chapter 28 Blood Sword, What Good Is It? --- Devlin's all-or-nothing attack proves ineffective. | May 4, 2008 |
| Episode 15 (17.28 MB) | Chapter 29 I Got Yer Fartwah Right Here--- Bad news for Devlin again, as his theory proves wrong.Chapter 30 Blood Sword, What Good Is It? --- Desperation, anger and frustrationbreeds a kernal of an idea. | May 8, 2008 |
| Episode 16 (21.12 MB) | Chapter 31 The Agony of Defeat--- Devlin can't get no satisfaction!Chapter 32 And That's How I Saved the World... Gimme Another Bottle --- The end? | May 8, 2008 |