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    Aliens and Satanic Creatures Wanted: Humans Need Not Apply by Tony Ruggiero
    Science Fiction

    Click the arrow below to listen to the first episode of this free audio book:

    Do you think its easy being an alien, a satanic creature or anything else not considered part of the Homo sapiens only club? They have tough days just like humans do and their frustration is growing. Don't believe it? Well, what about Lucifer, the prince of darkness, who runs a car dealership--what about his feelings when he is faced with that impossible sale and he can't get that signature on form 666, the standard soul contract? Or maybe you wondered about how an extremely vain alien copes with having a bad hair day as he tries to alter the future of Earth? Will his cosmetic problems be our problems in other ways? Perhaps you heard about the opposite vampire who loves to give blood, hates the darkness and has a fetish for garlic - how does he get through a bad relationship? How about a DNA altered cat that has been given the personality of one of the world's most fearsome criminals? Will its human owners understand or will it be a less then purr-fect arrangement?

    What's the common thread do all this discontent, you ask? What is it about most stories that stay the same? It's the human! These aliens and demonic creatures are sick and tired of being the second fiddle in the story. They want what everybody wants: to be the center of attention of the stories instead of the pesky humans for a change...and now they finally get their wish. In Aliens and Satanic Creatures Wanted: Humans Need Not Apply, they finally get top billing and they exploit it as far as they can.


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Chapters


Title Description Date Created
1. Invasion Or Subversion
(6.65 MB)
A pre-invasion reconnaissance mission turns into disaster when Kerna, one of the best intelligence agents from the planet Ishibod, returns from Earth a mental wreck. Craxus, the leader of the invasion committee must determine what has happened so he can submit his final report to the members of the Council of Ishibod. He reviews the message logs from Kerna during his six months on the planet Earth. He can slowly see the mental deterioration of Kerna, and learns some startling and menacing things about the female species of Earth and Ishibod. Dec 4, 2005
2. Teachers Pet
(3.54 MB)
When animals kill another animal, we call this survival. If some form of life must have something to survive, to deny it would mean their extinction from the planet. Many of the species that roam the planet we fear, or do not approve of, yet we allow them to do what they must to live. Who then would deny a vampire the right to seek blood from its victims in order to survive? Is it not following their instinct that was bred into them? That is what a college classroom of students is about to decide as they consider this alternative life style.Dec 4, 2005
3. Cat With A Past
(16.35 MB)
Rene wants a cat. Milt hates cats--especially because unaltered cats are very expensive. Today's cats are altered by the splicing of human DNA into theirs making them "more human." Rene insists that she must have a normal and unaltered cat. Giving in, Milt gets Rene the cat but from a back alley and from a man who sells at a significant cost savings those cats that have failed the DNA splicing, or at least that is what the man believes. The cat happens to have received the DNA from one of the most notorious criminals the world has ever known and is ready to begin again.Dec 4, 2005
4. Inhuman Or Inhumane
(3.83 MB)
The perfect killing machine: the Vampire. If this creature could be controlled by a government agency, a dark government agency, imagine what criminal things they could do -- and probably get away with. They could relieve the Government of many irritants both abroad and right here at home. One of these vampires has escaped and is seeking help from another government agency; one that he believes is not involved with the agency that oversees them, but someone who can expose the operation to the American people and put an end to the madness. Dec 4, 2005
5. Operator
(2.92 MB)
Operators get crank phone calls just as we do. That's how it all starts out for Denise, the operator on duty. She gets a call from Mr. Death, wanting to know the number of someone that needs to die. At first she thinks, that's kind of different from the usual prank, but as the conversation goes on, the mysterious voice tells her things that only she could know. She becomes convinced that he is who he says he is, and if she gives no name, an innocent child may die to meet death's quota. But -- what name will she give him? Dec 4, 2005
6. Lucky Lucifer's Car Emporium
(9.99 MB)
Gabe's tired and frustrated with life's drudgery and now he needs to replace his car. He dreads the thought of dealing with those car salesmen from -- well you can imagine where. He hears an ad on the radio for a new place called 'Lucky Lucifer's Car Emporium' and decides the advertisement is so amusing he may as well check it out. Once there, he finds the car of his dreams and meets the colorful owner, Lucky Lucifer himself. They sit down to strike a deal that is a bit different from the usual sales contract you might find offered, but then again, does anyone or anything really appear to be who or what they really are? Dec 4, 2005
7. Something is Cooking
(18.43 MB)
The perfect dream home in the country: it's quiet, peaceful, and the neighbors are -- well sort of friendly. Anyone else might have been scared away that first time they saw the house with the mutilated deer in the backyard. But then you take your dog for a walk and find some bones; the limbs of which have been torn from the body viciously. Then, you meet a neighbor followed by someone or something on a motorcycle depositing his head on your front lawn. And of course your neighbor barbecues all hours of the night. But it's quiet and peaceful -- everyone just kind of stays to himself or herself. Well almost everyone.Dec 23, 2005
8. All Aboard
(5.59 MB)
Good and Evil; the concepts have been with us a very long time. But how do you explain to a child that has been sheltered from the day she was born, what evil looks like? Is evil drawn to the good, or does it fear it? As a little girl and her father take a train trip they are faced with these questions. But they are not alone. Along with the goodness of the innocent child, comes along evil in its truest form, the hunter of a morally weak human to steal a body to join mankind and spread its evil amongst those that would listen. Dec 23, 2005
9. Endangered Species
(13.84 MB)
Paul has a story he needs to tell to whoever will listen. He has to warn the world that the blood supplies have been tampered with. If someone receives the tainted blood, they may change into something -- something that isn't quite human. It's something from the past, very old and terrifying, and somehow related to his family lineage. He's been on the run for seven years from his estranged family members since that fateful holiday gathering. Now he has a son to look after which makes it even more imperative that the public know the truth -- that the human species is in danger of extinction.Dec 23, 2005
10. The Gift That Keeps On Givin'
(3.06 MB)
Did you ever get a gift that came with the customary warning of don't open it until a certain date or time, maybe even a place? Sure, we all have. And did anything bad happen if you did open it before the requested time? No, probably not. You may have felt a little bad about it, but nothing serious. But for Joan, her decision to open her gift from her redneck friend, Ray, does in fact have some unusual consequences and may even change her outlook about a few things in her life.Dec 23, 2005
11. Forgiveness
(3.87 MB)
A vampire savagely kills a woman's husband and now she is on the run. She seeks shelter in a church where a man of the cloth, Brother Richard, tells her to have faith and forgiveness. But he wonders -- is telling the truth less important if it serves a higher purpose for the betterment of others? Would this be a way to ask forgiveness and prove that you have not lost your faith but just misplaced it? Brother Richard answers those questions when he is faced with a decision where he must choose between this woman's life or what good can come from her death for the betterment of others. Dec 23, 2005
12. An Amusing Tale
(7.47 MB)
Zeus has decided to take a drive by of Earth and see what's happening from the seed he planted there so long ago. What he sees is tragedy. The planets inhabitants are more concerned with their wealth and possessions instead of enjoying the things that he set in place for them. He debates about destroying the planet and starting over, but Apollo convinces him that would be a waste of his precious seed. Zeus decides the only thing left to do is to send his nine Muses, creatures of inspiration and creativity back to Earth to fix the mess. But his Muses have some problems...Dec 23, 2005
13. Going Up?
(7.87 MB)
Ann is dying and she wonders how will her fate be decided? Who will weigh the good and bad in her heart and decide which outweighs the other? Or were the events in her life she experienced not of her own choosing, but what she was forced into and must deal with? Can she or should she be held accountable for these events? Ann is going to get the answers to these questions because now it is her time to be judged on the game show of life, "What's your Fate." Jan 9, 2006
14. Reap What You Sow
(11.55 MB)
Tad Threhern at Carbide Chemicals has an unusual relationship with a man named Ivan who mysteriously provides him with the perfect seed, totally pest resistant. Carbide Chemical mass produces the seed and world food production increases to the point of total annihilation of all hunger everywhere. Years later, the same man returns to visit Tad again and gives him the cure to every disease known to man; life span averages increase into the 90's. Each time, Ivan does not ask for any compensation for these miracle substances. Tad totally confused, nevertheless accepts them for the betterment of his company and the world. Ivan returns years later for what he calls payback, his world has run out of food and now needs a new source and he wants some of the well fed and disease free humans. Jan 25, 2006
15. Have a Nice Flight
(6.91 MB)
Does flying scare you? Do you always think you are going to crash? Don't you just really hate it when someone says, "Have a nice flight," while you are worrying whether or not you will throw up all over the person next to you and make a big scene and be embarrassed? But at certain times, traveling the quickest way is a necessity when we have something very important to do. Something that must be accomplished before we lose our nerve…something that will affect our life forever. Jan 25, 2006
16. Games People Play
(6.81 MB)
Sam is one of the best stockbrokers in the business. Now, something is happening in the Wall Street world that has the potential to change everything and he wants to find out who is doing it and why. Someone is wielding tremendous financial clout very subtly and quietly. If they should achieve success, the power they would possess would be mind-boggling. None of his sources know who is behind it and the childish behavior of the mysterious player only adds to the dilemma. But Sam's problem is that he doesn't know all the rules to this game -- after all, he's only human.Jan 25, 2006
17. Cow Song
(2.64 MB)
Experimenting on animals was always for the betterment of mankind--he had always told himself that. He'd always tried to maintain a detachment from them; they weren't pets after all and it would only harm him when the inevitable end would come. But that was before he had given into his damn indulgence and created it. He had kept his revelation secret, for if anyone found out, they would destroy her. But now it was time to leave. They were forcing him out and he could not take her with him. They would find out -- what he had done. But there was still time for one more song.Jan 25, 2006
18. Please Make Up My Mind
(11.95 MB)
They say there is always a reason for why things happen throughout history. But what if there was an outside influence being applied causing certain events to occur that might not have had the influence not been applied. Isn't that tampering with our lives and our world? Are we maturing as a race of humans or are we following some alien pattern that is being forced upon us? That's the way two humans feel when they are asked to join an alien organization that does just that.Jan 25, 2006
19. Satisfaction
(2.5 MB)
Off of the interstate there are many small hotels that have not been choked by the hands of the big hotel chains. The Sanctuary Inn is Roy's hotel. He is the owner, desk clerk, and room cleaner. He likes to think of himself as the caretaker of the souls of the people that stay with him. But if there is torment and frustration that needs to be released, Roy takes care of that too. Many of his rooms are filled with those troubled people...well they're not troubled anymore...Roy has fixed it so they won't be troubled again, forever. Feb 12, 2006
20. Inoculation of a Culture
(2.4 MB)
If life exists on other planets, can you imagine all the different types of germs there will be? Today we worry about what or who comes from what part of our world; in the future will we wonder what is coming from other planets? Hopefully by then, we will have found a way to strengthen our immune systems to avoid any catastrophic germs from coming to Earth. Or is there somebody already out there thinking about the same thing right now and trying to straighten out our immune systems for us? Feb 12, 2006
21. We Are What We Have Become
(15.87 MB)
Lieutenant Joe Ellison has been having interactive dreams of Earth's past where he has been inserted as a negotiator to experience what techniques were successful in negotiating peaceful settlements. As he awakens, he learns from the ship's computer, that he is on a ship headed to a planet to negotiate the mining rights for a mineral desperately needed by Earth. The computer, or PITA, (Perfected Individual Training Asset) explains his training was designed to make him the perfect negotiator to obtain the mining rights from the inhabitants of the planet. But there is something the computer is not telling him about the inhabitants and what the backup plan is to ensure Earth gets what it wants.Feb 12, 2006
22. Differences
(2.71 MB)
Medicine and war--when you mix the two you can create a dangerous concoction: a weapon that goes beyond the things we fear about physical war. Two races: one human and one alien, fight each other because they consider their differences but not their similarities. The similarities offer hope but within the differences lies the true weapon, the weapon that there can be no defense from, the one that decides the eventual and inevitable outcome of war, the weapon that comes from within and permeates into the mind to destroy.Feb 26, 2006
23. The Gift Of Christmas
(3.36 MB)
You have heard many stories about the origin of Christmas and the legend of Santa Claus. Now imagine, what would happen if a planet was visited by an alien race and came upon Santa Claus distributing his good will, and of course, some presents. What kind of questions do you think might be asked? More importantly, what kind of answers and responses to those answers do you think the alien race would have? In this story, Narg, the alien in charge of the pre invasion scouting party, is in for some surprises as he interrogates Santa Claus to learn about Christmas.Mar 6, 2006
24. How Blind Is Justice
(7.19 MB)
Amelia is a little girl caught in the middle of a custody battle with a father who's sole reason to keep her around is just to piss off his ex-wife, and a stepmother that hates her. Her real Mom tells her it will soon be okay. But Amelia can't wait any longer for the courts to make the right decision. But it's Halloween. Amelia loves Halloween, one of her favorite times of the year, the one night when you can be someone else, or maybe even something else. You can do things that you wouldn't normally do, but it was okay...for just that one night. Mar 25, 2006
25. Wild and Wonderful Earth
(3.29 MB)
An interstellar travel agency leads the way in getting customers to new and unexplored planets faster than anyone else. Sure there might be some risks, but that is what it takes to stay on top of the industry. The key is finding what each planet has to offer and then exploiting it to the right market. No matter how bleak the prospect, there usually is something to offer someone and developing a market for a planet -- or its inhabitants.Apr 9, 2006
26. Burning Bridges
(2.63 MB)
Two historians find a document that contains information of the past, the religious writings of a well-known heretic, or as considered by others of the current time -- a madman. It reveals the actions performed by this religious fanaticism and their use of fire to cleanse the world of the impure and to save what remains of humanity. Prejudices for those of a different lifestyle has always been in our history as is the treatment we have bestowed upon them. But in this case, the scenario is reversed and humanity takes a back seat to -- something else.Apr 9, 2006
It's a Garden Out There
(6.76 MB)
Sweet gum trees produce a small round object which is covered with sharp points. We call them gumballs. Extremely sharp and incredibly hard, run over them with a lawnmower and you know what you get? A cut up gumball -- wrong! You get a round pointed projectile moving at a pretty good velocity. Can these objects have another possible use? Having such a tough protective coating, have you ever tried to look inside to see what is in there? Maybe you shouldn't. Some things are better left alone.Apr 18, 2006
28. PULL!
(2.94 MB)
What do you do after you have attained the highest ranking you can possibly achieve? Bruce has mastered his target shooting but yearns for that one hunt, that one real challenge he will remember for the rest of his life. But hunting is no longer allowed; the moratorium is for at least another fifty years. As these thoughts are running through his mind, a mysterious person offers him the once in a lifetime opportunity he yearns for. The only problem is that this mysterious man won't tell him what it is he will shoot. Apr 30, 2006
29. Cerebral Recyclers
(14.45 MB)
Gil Morris is a thief; a thief with a cynical yet ethical and moralistic view of the society that stole from him his very own dreams of what he wanted from life. So now, he steals from that society as a way to get even. On Mars he is offered a contract from an alien to steal something that will make him very, very rich. The alien refuses at first to give Gil more information about what exactly he is being paid very handsomely to steal and Gil threatens to refuse the job unless he is told. The alien yields to his demand for information. He is being hired to steal the thoughts or essence of another person just prior to their death, which will be used to save an alien race. Seeing this has an opportunity for his final big score, Gil decides to test the device he has been given. However, his alien employer has not fully explained how it works. Apr 30, 2006
Normalcy Sucks!
(6.44 MB)
Normal? How do you define what normal is? Two people in love, a woman, who is a vampire and a man, who is human try to answer that question. The vampire cannot become human, but the human can become vampire. The man commits to becoming a vampire, to join her in the dark world so that they can share their lives and have a sense of normalcy. But something goes wrong...very wrong; the man changes-but not into a vampire as she is but into an opposite vampire. Will they ever achieve normalcy?May 7, 2006
Just My Job
(8.14 MB)
Just another day on the Naval Station, considering that a meteor crashed the night before in the woods that surround the base. And sure -- the two people that found it are acting a little strange and taking people to the warehouse where they stashed the meteor, but what's so odd about that? And yes -- the base has closed it open gate policy to the public, but they opened it up again, with a one little special requirement that all visitors must stop by the warehouse before going any further. No big deal -- right? It is to someone who is keeping track of all these unusual changes around the base and has decided to do something about it.May 7, 2006
Antiques
(2.34 MB)
Antique shopping: the thrill of finding a piece of history for a good price, something to look at, to hold and feel the history within it. But times have changed and in the new world, society has changed the rules to fit the situation. People are now more valuable but only the old people that have survived the last great virus. Those born afterwards only live until about thirty. The last survivors of the old governmental policy must fulfill their role to give instead of take, which in today's terms means that they owe the rest of the country.May 7, 2006
Human Nature
(3.38 MB)
Some problems of life transcend time and even places. James is worried about the rising cost of college tuition that he will have to face for his daughter. But he is comforted by the litany that he has grown up with -- the one that reverberates in his thoughts as he tries and reach a solution to his current problem. However, not everything can be solved in a similar way and James comes to a realization that perhaps things might have been better if well enough had been left alone. May 7, 2006
Faith
(3.3 MB)
Years into the future, the Great War that has always been feared on Earth has finally happened. But it wasn't between countries or between people, but between different species -- vampires and humans. The humans have lost and they have been virtually expelled from Earth and even the colonies in space. Their survival consists of small groups constantly hiding from the vampire eyes. Now they are fighting back with every bit of humanity that is left in them -- to reclaim their home on Earth.May 7, 2006
The End
(2.82 MB)
What is left of the human race that exists on Earth has adopted the old ways, resisting all forms of technology for the simplistic way of life. They are angry at what has been done to them and seek revenge on those they can never truly face, the people who pressed the buttons thirty years ago. Today, all crimes are punishable by death, beheading is the preferred method, and it's hard to find someone that isn't guilty of something. One leader comes to realize the mistakes they are making today and commits to change with the sacrifice of his own life to the cause of rebuilding the human race.May 7, 2006
Freddy
(10.19 MB)
Ask a writer where their ideas come from and you'll probably get a different answer from each one. Usually it is from somewhere within their own imagination, brought to life by some event. But in Ray's case, ideas and inspiration have been avoiding him for quite some time. Until one night, he unknowingly asks his gargoyle, Freddy, a statue he bought at an estate auction, to help him. Ray is unaware there will be a price to pay, a very costly price. Freddy brings back Ray's creative writing ability with a few stories, and then -- it's payback time.May 8, 2006
To Protect and Serve
(14 MB)
Being one of the safest cities in the country has it benefits; it's called tourism and the money that comes along with it. Atlantic City, New Jersey wants to learn how Norfolk, Virginia went from the bottom of the list, to almost the top with its extinguishing of virtually all crime in one years time. Two Atlantic City police officers, Tony and Chris, are sent to learn this miraculous method but are only answered with vague innuendos and illogical assertions from the mysterious lead detective, Dimitri. Deciding to look into matters on their own, the visiting police officers find the answer, but now wish they had left when they had their chance.May 8, 2006
Electronic Bliss
(3.64 MB)
He works too much, she works too much, and the relationship has gone to hell. What's next but the divorce and the messy legal stuff to divide up those precious assets that cost them the relationship to begin with. The thought of the legal mess sours his stomach as he sits at the computer unable to sleep. This is how she makes a living, staying home all day and designing games or whatever it is she does. Sonya is very good at what she does, perhaps even a genius who can design computer programs that can solve problems. Problems like getting out of a relationship with a touch of the keyboard. May 8, 2006
Fulfillment
(6.49 MB)
Dreams and ambitions; the goals we keep striving to achieve in order to feel fulfilled with our lives. But do these things need to be physically achieved or can they just be in our own minds? If we imagine or believe that we have done them, is that good enough? One man's desire to go to Mars is his lifelong ambition before he dies. He is consumed with this dream from early childhood through the rest of his life. He will do anything to go to the mysterious red planet and walk upon its surface. Now, in those final moments of his life, has he just imagined that he has been on Mars because he wanted it so much? Or has he actually fulfilled his life's dream? May 8, 2006