Comments on: Fatal Gamble

By: craig

craig — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 12:49:26 +0000

The story is good. The pace of the reading needs to step up and flow. I felt like I was watching a movie in slow motion. Put some feeling in it and you have a winner as an audio. I think it would read fine if you had your own copy.

By: Jeff Adamson

Jeff Adamson — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 23:36:35 +0000

Just got done Fatal Gamble. I liked the story. I have to agree with others who said the author/reader was a little stiff. I got over that. Heck, we all cant be actors:) I did have a problem with the bad guy in the beginning putting a “silencer” on a revolver. First of all, it is called a supressor. Secondly, you cant put one on a revolver. The cylinder/barrell gap makes supressors useless on a relvolver. Also, please have the main character carry a large semi-auto. Very few gun people limit themselves to the small number of rounds a revolver holds. This was a small thing but it stuck out like a sore thumb to me. Also, please wet your whistle before and while you are speaking. Those smacking sounds are very distracting:)

By: JP O'Donnell

JP O'Donnell — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:36:27 +0000

Thanks for your comments, Tristen. Fatal Gamble is my first effort in the realm of podiobooks, and my inexperience definitely shows. I’m just not a very good actor. I feel that I improved my delivery in the sequel, Deadly Codes. I’m hoping to find the time to record Fatal Gamble again and enhance the pacing of the story. But, thanks for listenng. I’m happy to hear that there are some Gallagher fans out there.

By: Tristen

Tristen — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 11:37:08 +0000

I’m about half way through the story and it’s really grabbed me. The dimensions given to Gallagher make him a real person, and the way the character thinks is easy to relate to. The one downside that I have is the narration. The author speaks clearly, and is easy to understand, so there is no REAL issue, just more of a preference. I would like to see the reader of novel have better voice acting, and to read with the emotions of the view point character. In this text the narrator is pretty consistent in tone and delivery, and drastically underacts, as the characters’ voices are rarely delivered in a manner that complies with dialogues descriptive text. This is something that is easily overlooked, but with an audio novel, it can make all the difference. All in all, a strong novel by a good writer and storyteller, just not a great actor.

By: romulus

romulus — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 22:12:50 +0000

This audio book is very articulate spoken and has an enthralling plot. I enjoyed to train my english with this book.

By: Graham Pollard

Graham Pollard — Fri, 21 May 2010 15:24:01 +0000

Thank you for an interesting and entertaining novel. I would agree with everything everyone else has said.
I would add, honest independent editing is very, very important
Good Luck, look forward to your next work.

By: Lyall

Lyall — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 01:56:36 +0000

I just completed this book. Loved it.
Started working through Deadly codes, as I write this comment.

By: Joe Lertola

Joe Lertola — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 01:11:38 +0000

I really enjoyed this book.

By: JP O'Donnell

JP O'Donnell — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 15:25:47 +0000

Thank you for the wonderful comments on Fatal Gamble. You’re right on target. I believe that many of the issues you mentioned have been resolved in Deadly Codes. Hope you’ll listen to it and send me your comments.
Best.
JP O’Donnell

By: Xyresic

Xyresic — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:50:06 +0000

Just finished your book Fatal Gamble. It was very good. The development of your characters was very well done, and your plot development was well executed. I found myself really liking the good guys, really hating the bad guys, and really sympathizing with the guys that got caught in the middle. I even felt anxious during the *SPOILER ALERT* car crash scene. You have an great understanding of what it takes to make a character believable and interesting.

Here’s where I think you could improve, from one writer to another. Your dialogue is a little stiff and unnatural. Your characters sound like they’re writing instead of speaking. Mickey Ryan was one exception. His dialogue was pretty good. I would also hold back a little more about the ‘mystery’ until the main character discovers it. By the time the main character uncovered the big secret, we as readers already knew it, and were just waiting to see how it would resolve itself. Drag out that mystery just a bit more- it’ll keep your readers guessing, and reading.

Overall, this is by far the best book I’ve read so far on Podiobooks, and even better than some books I’ve purchased on Audible. I’m eagerly awaiting for you to finish your next book (I get through books so fast that I have to wait until they’re done or I’ll die of anticipation waiting for the next episode). Keep up the great work, and I hope to see you on the best seller’s list someday.

By: Barry Bounous

Barry Bounous — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:50:15 +0000

Really like the character! The plot is interesting too. The interpersonal dialogue (family members, love interest) isn’t as convincing. Dialogue as part of the investigation is great but the personal narratives don’t work for me quite as well.

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 11:23:28 +0000

Good book and excellent attempt for a first audio book indeed. I look forward to hearing the Dead Code. Thank you.

By: JP O'Donnell

JP O'Donnell — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 22:24:09 +0000

Hi Chris,
Thank you for your comments on the podcast of Fatal Gamble.
Yes, this was my first attempt at a podcast and I am sure my “rookie” status was in clear evidence. I am, however, working to improve my presentation for the sequel, Deadly Codes. I’m expecting it to be ready sometime in February. Hope you’ll have a chance to listen.

By: Randi

Randi — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:40:34 +0000

I was really impressed by this author’s first foray into audio books. While Gallagher certainly isn’t Tony Soprano, he is a very likeable character and the plot moves quickly. I look forward to hearing his next book.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 07:22:24 +0000

I just finished this book today, I was able to listen to the last 3 or 4 episodes back to back.

I think this is the first serialized audiobook by this author/narrator and some of that inexperience shines through. From an audio perspective I think the narration could be a bit louder and flow a bit more smoothly. The pace of the narration was a bit slow at points. Generally the audio and narration was OK, it isn’t likely to win awards but it can be listened to easily enough.

The actual book could stand a little more editing. The dialog was stiff and uncomfortable which may have led to problems in the narration. The story was entertaining but there were clearly some slow parts that could be cut. Throughout the story the main character is discovering parts of a story and relaying them to us. Unfortunately for us the main character runs into witness and other concerned parties that he needs to repeat the story to, or that he recalls the story to.

If this repetition is taken care of the pace of the story would pick up dramatically, a lot of wooden dialog would be eliminated and the listener’s would be able to focus on the action in the story.