Handbook for the Criminally Insane
Brian Holtz is back, this time with a funny-yet-dark tale. It’s called Handbook for the Criminally Insane:
Monica just moved to the small town of Redmondsburg. Little did she know her house is haunted, an army of zombies is waiting to attack, a serial killer is on the loose and a demon Chihuahua plans to sacrifice her on Halloween.
With the help of a new friend (who isn’t quite human) Monica is set to have the time of her life trying to avoid the time of her death.
We’re starting this one with three episodes in the default feed, with many more on the way. Or you can get a custom feed and never worry about how many come down at once. Either way, enjoy this free audiobook!
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October 2nd, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Hi everyone! Thanks for checking out my new book!
October 30th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Hey, Brian, nice work here! I’ll keep listening to find out how you will get all these story lines to come together. I’m also curious whether the hamster meets the chihuahua, but can’t imagine what would bring that about. Deliciously twisted!
October 30th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
hello brian. Just wanted to tell you how much i’ve been enjoying listening to this podiobook. Its been a lot of fun to listen to and I can’t wait for the next episode(s). I’m still hoping since Halloween is tomorrow that we might be treated to a few more, maybe even the climax/conclusion !?!? (he says, more hopeful than expectant)
And Gail, I’m not sure how far along you are in the story so far so I won’t let loose any spoilers, for the courtesy of others who might be reading this as well. I’m caught up to the end of the available episodes (thru #12 so far) and I can tell you that, at least as it currently stands, it appears that the chihuahua and the hamster will not meet. But then again, with the type of subject matter with which this book deals, I won’t say definitively that it CANNOT happen. Let’s just say it doesn’t appear likely.
November 4th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Hi from Dublin, Brian,
This is not usually my cup of tea, but I’m loving your book. I listen to it every day on the way to/from work. Good preparation for meeting zombies on the commuter route
Don’t leave us hanging, post the final instalment on iTunes!
Cheers
Claire
November 5th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Great fun – well worth listening to. A rich assortment of characters, great writing, a plot full of twists and easy on the ears narration. Thank you!!
November 6th, 2009 at 12:03 am
hello again, brian. I just had to drop back by and tell you how great this podiobook novel was and how much I enjoyed it. The last two episodes/chapters most definitely did not disappoint. It was really awesome how you tied all of the different storylines together (well, most of them anyway), and I have to say you treated us to a great ending. Also, I really enjoyed your narration of the story a great deal.
Your narration was a great listen for two big reasons. The first is that I always enjoy listening to a story narrated by the author. Sometimes the fun of a book is in the reader’s personal interpretation. I mean, MY mind’s eye visualization of Monica’s house and the cemetery across the road, and that of another reader/listener, can never be quite the same no matter how much detail the author provides when describing the setting. But it is also great fun to be able to hear certain things as the author intended them to sound. Only the author can know for sure how he intended certain things to sound, especially with regard to dialogue. Subtle variations in voice inflection can create very different meanings, moods or feelings, and often with interactions between characters, these particular inflections of voice can make a huge difference in how the reader/listener perceives these interactions.
The second reason I love your narration, yours specifically that is, is that your voice is somewhat unusual. Please don’t take that the wrong way, “unusual” does not equate to “bad”. Quite the contrary, your personal vocal mannerisms are a great deal of fun to listen to. You have an offbeat and quirky style of delivery and it really adds to the story, especially THIS type of story, and I thank you for allowing me and others to have that experience.
Anyway, again, thanks a ton for the great read….errrrr, ummm…..I mean “listen”. It was a great story with an awesome presentation. I’ve already downloaded your other full length novels, “Nephilim Push” and “The Collapse at Hidden Verse Three-Three-Two”. I’m not sure which I will listen to next but I’m sure either will be a great choice.
November 11th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I’m amazed. I normally don’t like horror. Even attempts at humor. But when I started, I was hooked. Dang, well done.
You drew me to the very end. You pulled me kicking and screaming. I loved it. Thank you
December 12th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Brian, thanks for the quirky zombie fun! The story flowed effortlessly and was a pleasure to listen to. I too will check out your earlier works. Thanks for presenting your work in this format.
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Awesome work, highly recommended. Some very unexpected twists and turns. Great mix of humor, suspense, B-movie horror elements, and just down right spooky stuff with some ingenious twists.
I am not easily intimidated, and normally not affected by scary movies or what not…. but I actually had to turn on the lights while listening to Monica as she discovered what else…existed, in her house with her.
Definitely passed the “cannot wait for next download” test, as I often ended up getting them early
December 21st, 2010 at 12:22 am
I loved the writing, the twisting and intertwining plots. Holtz’ voice work is excellent for the straight narration; for the dialogues, alas, the result is less satisfactory. I never could follow whose lines are these, did the narration switch from dialogue to straight prose, and such littleties. Different from Nephillim Push, and I can’t for the life of me say if it is less meritorious or not.
May 14th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Hey guys! My new book will hit on friday! I hope you’ll check it out. It’s called Doris and the Ankh. It’s a fantasy/adventure for all ages. Thanks much for all the great comments!
Brian
June 2nd, 2011 at 12:09 pm
I know I’m late but this book was AMAZING!!! It kept me captivated from chapter 1 until the very end! I’m so happy that Dylan made it. I absolutely LOVED this book!!!!! I can’t wait to check out another…
August 27th, 2011 at 6:25 am
Christmas is creeping into Redmondsburg, spreading into dark places like a jolly rash. There will be redness, burning, and unpleasant odors…
The eggnog hits the fan this holiday season with “Handbook For The Criminally Insane II: Handbook For The Festive Sociopath.” Watch for it this December, if you dare.
And really, don’t scratch, that just makes it worse.